Health Insurance Plan Only Covers Random Hippopotamus Attacks

CHICAGO—Outlining the particulars of the man’s existing policy about the cell phone Tuesday, a agent discussed to community 32-calendar year-aged Greg Tarlton that his wellbeing insurance policies program only included random hippopotamus assaults. “Your latest advantages as a Gold HMO member entitle you to reimbursement for most dental, eyesight, primary treatment, psychological well being, and emergency home expenses incurred as a direct result of injuries sustained for the duration of an face with a hippo,” reported Jen Tisne, a coverage advisor for SentiHealth Companions, confirming that Tarlton’s system included a $10,000 deductible and was constrained to in-network companies in the condition of Illinois. “In the celebration you experience a collapsed lung or broken rib following getting trampled by a hippopotamus that just appears out of absolutely nowhere, we’ll address up to 95% of your hospital charges. You will also be protected for any rehabilitative expert services you might demand immediately after a thoroughly developed, 2-ton hippo instantly rounds a corner, chases you down, and clamps down on a person or both of those of your legs with its whole bite drive. Make sure you take note that if our adjuster determines you provoked the attack or ended up seeking to feed the animal some of your protein bar, your declare will be denied.” The agent included that in spots the place there are acknowledged to be hippopotamuses, these kinds of as zoos or the continent of Africa, all coverage is void.